Risk

Most of my life I have been a risk taker. I always figured that I'm smart enough to figure it out and I know how to hustle to make things work but lately with my decisions I have been a lot more cautious. I now find myself weighing out the pros and cons of every decision, even playing out the worst case scenario in my head just in case. I even shocked my mother with my new money budgeting views. She of course asked if I was PMSing but I explained I just don't have room for the bull shit at this point of my life. Every decision I make at this time is life altering. It's not go with the flow and it doesn't just effect myself but 3 other people now and 2 of them can't even make decisions for themselves. The weight of this responsibility is incredibly heavy, almost suffocating. My thought process is consumed by the need to make the right decision and fearing the chance of making a bad one. It's exhausting, I am constantly tired and have been neglecting other parts of my life like my significant other or even myself for that matter. I need a break from myself and the decision making. I'm hoping since the kids are with their father this weekend my significant other and myself can take some time for us and I can hopefully spend some time not having to make any decisions. The risk of him having to work is lingering but at least hockey will be on at some point and maybe I can get some rest.

The weekend is still days away but for today : GO BRUINS!!!