It's Time

The other day I was reading my horoscope and it said "you will experience a relationship split around the 26th that will prove beneficial for both of you." Now, if you know my significant other or myself you know this does not mean him. Over my dead body will that one be happening with him.... But my ex however is a different story.

For the past 95 days I have spent time EVERY day trying to get him to finally sign and file the papers with me. We decided a long time ago this will be a joint petition. We're adults and can get this done, our children are all that matter. This week actually marks 1 year since we started mediation and I have bent over, backwards and sideways in this divorce to make this finally happen. I can not express enough that its time. I asked for this divorce in October of 2010 and have been more then patient.

Today I took a different approach. I asked for this as a gift from him for my birthday. I said its all I want and I want nothing but that. He said yes at first but then started the dragging of the feet again. I sympathetically explained that we'll still be friends and parents but this "obligation" needs to end so we can move on.

Fingers crossed this is finally coming to an end so We can both move forward..

A Clean House Is Not Lived In

My daughters talent show last night was simply AMAZING! I was so incrediably proud that yes, a tear was shed. I truely am lucky that my ex and I get along enough that we could all sit in the same row and with our son in-between us. It was such a nice night and she is very proud of herself as well. She is still wearing the bow in her hair today and I'm one signature away from being a cheer mom. Unfortunately my significant other was working last night and unable to attend. I had bought her flowers from me and an Alex and Ani Anchor (she's been obsessed with anchors lately) bracelet. What made me teary eyed this morning was that he even got her a card on his own and left it for her to wake up to since he left for work before she got up. She was so excited reading what he wrote it made my heart happy. My son has always had a great relationship with my significant other as they are boys and like all the same toys, however with my daughter it has been a little bit harder but they have come a very long way.

I'm guessing at this point you are wondering why I labeled this entry about cleaning and haven't touched on that yet... Now we will...

I decided today was going to be "Spring Cleaning" day in my house. My children love cleaning anyways but they also love making messes as any child does. We picked up mops that are their size after breakfast and I let them go to town. I figured 1500 square feet of hardwood floors would keep them busy for a bit. WRONG! It did keep them busy but I also ended up with puddles of suds everywhere. I seriously applaud the effort though. It was nice having clean floors for the moments it did last. They are again covered in toys and art projects. I guess what they say is true, a clean house is not a lived in house. Maybe I can at-least control the laundry getting done today...

Mothers and Daughters

In this life, I know there is always one thing I can bond with my daughter over and that is beauty. No matter what type of day we are having, I can say "let's do your nails", "let me try something with your hair" or even lately "lets take care of those black heads". Every time she loves it. It's more then a girl thing, it's something she gets to do with mom that her brother doesn't.
Tonight is her very first talent show. I remember my first talent show at her age just like it was yesterday. You could imagine my excitement when her friends were talking about what to do for make up and she said "my mom can do it!". I would love nothing more then to do it and share in that experience with her but due to the circumstances of how she's getting ready I won't be able to. This is one if those times divorce is just as hard on the parents and ultimately the child comes before your own wants. I may not be there to help her get ready, but I sure as heck will be one proud mom in the audience. ... Besides, I have all weekend long to spoil them

Making dreams come true....

Let me just start this with a disclaimer of having no clue where this post is exactly going to go.

My god mother and I recently had a conversation about how "only you can make your dreams come true, you can't just sit back and wait for it". WELL, I would like nothing more then to make my dreams come true but I'm also a realist. I currently work a job that has it perks but also great frustration on a daily basis. I appreciate the people I work with to such an extent that if I could buy out the owner I would. However would that be enough of making my dreams come true? That is an answer I can not give confidently.

What I do know is my dream is to be a business owner. I even have the whole business plan put together for my dream company and every day I meet at least one person who could benefit from it (and think of all the people I don't know yet). The fact is, when I think about it or talk about it I light up. Even just writing about it now makes me happy. This is something I have been putting thought into for 3 years now. I would love nothing more then to make it happen but in reality I don't have the funding to open its door. Money mistakes I made when I was 18 continue to haunt me and lord knows this job consumes my time and barely pays the bills. So now I sit with the glow of thinking about my dream, then I lift my head and realize where I am instead and feeling continuously road blocked.

I know just getting to this point in my life has been a struggle, but I am here. Maybe this post was the subconscious reminder I can one day get to where I want to be if I put my mind to it.

What's in a name?

This year for Easter my significant other met my Dad's side of the family for the first time. Although we have been together for almost two years, the timing never presented itself either because my children were there and they didn't know he existed yet or he was working. So this year was finally the year.

I introduced him just by his name, no title. One of my Aunts introduced him as my "new friend" however he wasn't exactly new, maybe to them but not to me. Then my mom introduced him as my "friend". At that point I finally said something. In my sweet, sometimes Boston accent I said "Ya Ma, my friend, I just picked him up on the side of the road on my way here" which grabbed a giggle from the family standing around and also started a discussion with one of my other Aunts about terminology. She said that she wished there was a better word for significant other and I agree. For a while I have felt calling him my "boyfriend" seems juvenile and off for someone that I live with and helps me raise my children. I know another name for him is just around the corner but until then this is what I'm working with. I could call him my "partner" but now a days that means multiple things and he already has two partners being an EMT. Boyfriend again doesn't sound accurate. So for now I'm sticking with significant other just like I do on this blog........... until he decides to change that...

Opposites Attract

At times my significant other and I are complete opposites. In fact when we started dating a lot of our friends were confused but then after seeing us together they got it. Clearly there are enough things we have in common to make it work but there are times we both have to bend and step out of the box when it comes to social circles. This weekend was one of those times.

The theme of this past Saturday was "Country club preppy girl falls for punk rock boy". Normally we are both working so much or have the kids that we don't go out so it really doesn't matter but this weekend our friends put together an art show and since it was our weekend without the kids we went. I always get nervous going to these things. Put me in a bar with our friends or have them at our house and it's all good, put me in a situation that I'm not used to and it's a different story. Now mind you I'm a preppy girl, no tattoos and pastel nails. Then throw me pretty much into an episode of Portlandia. It was awesome seeing our friends and their incredible art but they added music also. I'm pretty sure I lost some of my supersonic hearing and also understand why my significant other is hard of hearing after years of touring and playing in venues. He of course was reminiscing when people kept asking him what band he is with now. The answer - "I don't have time for music anymore". Now I've heard his "music" and "singing" and I can't associate it with him. He sounds possessed. I love him dearly... but possessed. Anyways, I got through the night and back on even ground the next day at Easter where we both wore pastel colors.

Just goes to show every pot has a lid, even if it might be a little different.